Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia 2013 #HAHAT

May 17th is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia
and the Hop Against Homophobia 2013 starts today!

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Even though the world is clearly changing, there's a long way to go before homophobia is seen by the  entire population as just as terrible of a thing as racism. I do believe there will be a day when the population as a whole will look into history books and cringe at their past ignorance.

There's a handy, interactive graph on the Guardian's website that I highly suggest you poke around on. It was posted May of 2012 and as I write this, it doesn't include Minnesota's newest law change. But it's still a great tool to really see the difference of rights between the communities. It's tangible and clear cut that there's a major difference and that's a major problem.

All these changes are coming from the changing mindset of the population. Change will happen. One day grand kids will be ashamed of their anti-gay grandparents just how today grand kids are embarrassed by granny's racist slurs leftover from the 1950s.

The internet and social sites have really pushed progress forward. It helps get the word out that "Hey! This shit is fucked up. Don't do it. People are people and love is love." Tumblr is a perfect example. The community on tumblr will not hesitate to call you out on anything. (It's a great place for feminism as a whole too)

People are constantly learning and evolving. Someone who was taught homophobia might be on tumblr one day and be called out on using "gay" as an insult, and after hearing the explanation of why it's wrong, that person might just start to change years of narrow thinking. Education and patience (sadly, still patience) is needed just as much as raising hell to get law makers to vote for and sign the right laws.

Overall I have high hopes for humanity even if sometimes it seems bleak.

EDIT: the contest is closed now. I'll be picking a winner and posting it tomorrow. Thank you for the comments!
EDIT 2: The winner has been selected and contacted via email.

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If you leave a comment on this post, you'll be entered to win an ebook of my latest novel, Paid Leave. (the winner will be a randomly chosen comment and will be selected sometime after May 22. I'm actually out of the country right now.)

Blurb: Albuquerque police officer Benji Miller made the choice to hide his sexuality and devote his life to his career. He guards his secret carefully, believing he is protecting his job and happiness. Then, during a routine traffic stop gone awry, he shoots a suspect to protect a young girl, and his life spins out of control. A department-mandated paid leave rips away the only distraction he had, and he has to deal with the unsympathetic media who criticize the police department’s every move.

One day, needing to get out of the house, Benji walks into a café, where he meets Neal McCoy—a gay man living without shame, unafraid to speak his mind or stand up against prejudice. Benji quickly falls for Neal but struggles to combine his new love interest and his career. With the media threatening the careful illusion he’s built around himself, Benji can’t stand the pressure.

Benji has to decide: sacrifice his happiness in the name of his career and an easy life, or find the courage to give up the lonely existence he knows and take a step into the unknown.

Available from Dreamspinner Press.

Excerpt:

“So is my charm winning you over yet?”

“What charm?” Benji meant it as a joke, but Neal didn’t laugh.

“I’m usually very good at reading men, but you’re sending me mixed signals. I understand if you can’t tell when a man flirts, but at least tell me I’m not making a fool of myself and giving you a funny story to tell your girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Are we on the same team, Benji?” Neal changed his question into a more direct one Benji wasn’t comfortable answering.

“I have a convincing life of a straight bachelor I would like to maintain.” Benji couldn’t stop himself despite knowing he was ending chances before he even had a chance. “But that’s as far as it goes—a lie.”

“I see.” Neal nodded and watched Lucky chew a few dried twigs.

“I’m proud of what I am, Benji. If I could shit rainbows, I would.” Neal tugged on Lucky’s leash to get his attention and started toward the parking lot. “I like you, but it isn’t my place to convince you to change what you are.”

Benji was lost in a sea of his own insecurities that had flooded in following the shooting. Things he’d never challenged before became the only questions he had. “What if I want to be normal?”

His words froze Neal in his retreat. He looked over his shoulder, and his brown eyes carried sadness Benji wouldn’t have believed he was capable of experiencing. “You are normal, Benji.”

“What if I want more than what I’m allowed to have?”

“You struggle through hell to have what you deserve.”

Benji shook his head. “What if I lose my career?”

“I can’t answer that one. I don’t even know what you do.” Neal returned to Benji’s side and touched his arm. “It sounds like you need a friend more than a date.”

“I have friends.”

“Yeah. But I have a hunch that you don’t have friends that understand what it’s like to be gay.” Neal slipped his arm into Benji’s and started forward on the trail. “Let’s get back to the date. I know you’re not a coffee connoisseur, so what’s your favorite drink?”

Benji forced himself to relax. The trail was empty, and the birds hardly cared if two men touched. “Coke, I guess. After water. Most guys drink beer. I pick a cola.”

“We can break that bad habit,” Neal said. His chuckle warned Benji he was teasing.

“Do you only drink coffee?”

“Of course not. I also like water. We have so much in common, Benji.”

A Person is a Person No Matter How Gay

True story

Within the context of psychology, a phobia is a type of anxiety disorder where a person fears—often this fear is characterized as irrational—an object or situation. Many people have phobias but it’s a working fear. I fear spiders but I can surely squish one if I need to. I also fear small spaces but can buck up and ignore my phobia.

It’s believed phobias arise from an event in a person’s life. I used to hide in a closet during frightening times in my life, and then I developed a fear of small spaces. Makes sense, right? Spiders...well who doesn’t fear those creepy things? I’ve been bitten by spiders and make it a point to fear anything with fangs and poison. I allow the harmless ones to live...unless I see those fangs. Fangs hurt!

So what about an irrational fear of a gay person? Say what? That just doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. This phobia is one taught to a person—by a parent or the media, or maybe just too many negative influences around. Violence as a way to act out homophobic urges is also taught.

I was raised a fairly sheltered life. I can honestly say I didn’t know what lesbian or gay truly meant until after high school. (In my defense sex was new in my little world too. Boy, have I come a long way.) I knew gay guys in high school and knew they loved (or liked for a weekend...whatev) other guys, but I had no idea it was such a “problem” in our society, because I saw no problem if two men loved each other. I hadn’t been taught to believe their way of loving “is wrong.”

Now my parents are amazing people, but they didn’t raise me by telling me LGBT was okay either. It was pretty much ignored, but that gave me the option of forming my own unbiased opinion about gays. And that opinion based on my teenage knowledge of the world was gays are no different from me. My opinion hasn’t changed. They’re people. People like me. What is the big deal?

It hurts my head to attempt to understand homophobia. One of my best friends—one I couldn’t live without—is gay and I can’t imagine anyone hating him. To know someone out there hates him based on a silly fact that he’s attracted to the same gender is just astonishing. This type of hate is right up there with skin color or gender discrimination—it isn’t okay, it lacks any sense, and it is taught. Society as a whole needs to press harder to get their communities to see LGBT individuals or families as no different from the Christian, Jewish, Mormon, black, white, Asian, purple, or turquoise family down the street. We’re all human.

Life is hard on our LGBT community, and it’s harder for the kids.  Growing up is already difficult. It’s almost impossible to understand homophobia when you’re trying to understand yourself too. Below are some resources to help the youth through the hardest time of their lives made all the more difficult by being a minority that is attacked daily. It has gotten better over the years, and I hope in my life time I will see day where “gay” isn’t separating factor or something that people think they need to hide.

Trevor Project

The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone.

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Support line: 866-488-7386

It Gets Better Project

The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better.

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

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I’m giving away Water Waltz in ebook format. I built a world free of homophobe in Water Waltz—in fact, every fantasy creature is both gay and straight and no one gives a fuck. Just leave a comment about homophobia—your opinion or maybe an experience—and be entered in the random drawing. Leave your email so I can contact you if you’re the winner when the hop ends.

Also visit the participating blog master list (http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com/) and join in on the other conversations about homophobia and maybe find more contests.

And maybe while you’re clicking links, click this one here http://shop.hrc.org/ and buy something to make a donation toward the fight of LGBT equal rights! One day, love will conquer hate.

Pride Parade Photos

Shirtless men, almost shirtless ladies, and lots of rainbows. What else does one expect from Pride!

 I love her sign!

More after the jump! (and more on Facebook)

Pride 2011

The parade was fantastic--as expected. Not as many condoms being thrown around this year. More necklace beads though.

I'll upload photos when I return from more fun. My group split up for a break--two are going to a birthday party. I'll rejoin them in an hour and we'll go into the fair grounds where Pride is in full swing!

I'm handing out bookmarks too. I forgot the stack when I left this morning. I wanted to drop them off around Nob Hill too. Oh well. At a later time.

I have to say, I love Albuquerque!!!!